Monday, December 20, 2010

Beyond The Screams

Check out this awesome documentary on the Hispanic Punk Movement. The documentary is produced by former Los Crudos vocalist Martin Sorrondeguy. It's pretty awesome. Please take 27 minutes to check it out and spread the word about it.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

El Anticristo

So this guy on Youtube, El Anticristo 2007, has a series of videos he does called "Documentales" that are hilarious. They're in spanish and they talk about certain topics that he finds are an aberration to humanity. He uses all sorts of hilarious words. Please oh please check this guy's stuff out if you understand spanish. I really enjoy it. Today I'm going to link you to his video on Pipopes, or as we like to call them in America, Clubbers. Enjoy.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

State Of The Music Address

Sooooooo... the other day I was having a Facebook conversation with some people about what crappy music is out nowadays. You have this garbage like Rihanna, Drake, Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, then you have your artists who are good, but ruined by being overplayed like Eminem and Bruno Mars, and then you have your unappreciated good artists like Thrice. Now I'm not posting this just to shit on popular artists, no no no. Please don't misunderstand me, although if you'd like to go right ahead, you're just a simple life form that will be taken care of through Darwinism you scumbag... Anyway, I'm posting this simply to write about Thrice. Thrice is a greatly under-appreciated rock band. They still haven't really hit it "big" by most people's terms, but they've been around for over 10 years. I don't mind that they haven't hit it "big". Even with their major label album "Artist in the Ambulance" they didn't quite sell out. They had more radio-friendly, poppy songs and then went another direction, a direction most bands are afraid to go out of fear of alienating their fanbase and their record label. Thrice explored and expanded their musical horizons and went into a heavier and more experimental phase in their music. "Vheissu" was a much heavier and more experimental album than any of their previous three records. The song meanings stayed pretty much in the same vein as the other albums. All their lyrics have a positive message and that's something a lot of today's popular music doesn't have. After "Vheissu", Thrice delved even deeper into their experimental music and released a 4-CD double album called "The Alchemy Index". This album was criticized greatly for not being "normal Thrice". I admit, I'm guilty of not enjoying this album as much as I should have. Their next album was their most recent release titled "Beggars". With this album they breathed life into even their most mellow songs on the album. Despite it not being the aggressive Thrice everyone had grown to love, it was still good. Aside from it being good, it was what Thrice wanted to put out. That's what's most important. That's what makes them so unique and special. They've never been about selling records or becoming famous. They've always been about writing music they like with good messages. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that Thrice is awesome and y'all should listen to them. They're really underrated even though they're the best. Here's a few videos of some really awesome songs.









Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Hockey Highlight Reel

Tonight I'm going to show you one of the league's best current goal scorers. His name is Steven Stamkos. He was selected 1st overall in the 2008 NHL Entry Draft by the Tampa Bay Lightning. He's currently mired in a small scoring slump, but he's gotta have one of the best shots in the game. When he's on, he's on. His signature move comes on one-timers from the left faceoff circle. He usually gets a cross-ice feed (usually from his boy Marty St. Louis) and slaps a one-timer past the goalie. This motherfucker can snipe! He likes to pick the corners where the goalie has a hard time reaching glove or blocker to. Anyway, check this video out (shows all 51 of his goals for the 2009-2010 season) and tell me he's not one badass hockey player. STAMKOS!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Check This Out!

Sooooo.... check out my boy Stefan. He claims it's just for funsies and that he's not a rapper, but I'd like to disagree with that. The man produces for others and this is actually the first thing I've heard him do for himself. I'd like to see a bit more of this and have him rap and produce for himself. The man is as selfless as they come and I'm proud to consider him a friend. Furthermore, he's the one keeping my Korina safe while she's in New York. For that I'll be forever thankful. I can't wait to be back out in New York to have a few drinks with Stef and all the peeps out there. For now, here's his short rap that I deemed awesome. Great lyrics, great beat, great sample (found it a bit creepy, but that makes it even better). Great stuff from Stef. Check it out and stay tuned for more. I'll be posting any future tracks he is kind enough to share on Facebook.


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Raaaaaiiiiideeeeeers! They suuuuuuuuuck!

I am currently stuck in traffic trying to get parking for the goddamn Raider game. This is ridiculous. At the moment I hate anyone and everyone that is driving in the area. Fuck everyone! Aaaaaaaaah! I don't even put up with shit for Sharks games. WTF! Oh yea, first mobile post on the blog :) congratulations to all 4 of you reading. You're very special. Not really though...

-Cesar

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Kobe Bryant

This is an excellent article on Kobe Bryant. Adrian Wojnarowski got an exclusive interview with The Black Mamba and he got a bunch of great details on what drives Kobe. Ever wondered why he won't let a broken finger hold him back? Or how he's played with a bad knee and still won a championship? Ever wonder who his greatest mentor was? You find all this out. This article really gives you a great look into the psyche of the best basketball player of my generation. If you're a LeBron, D-Wade, Bosh, Howard fan, you better change that quickly. As long as Kobe's around, he'll be the greatest. This article will show you exactly why Kobe is still leaps and bounds ahead of these guys who claim to be the best. Check it out folks.

-Cesar

Shit Just Got Real...

Everyone needs to read this article RIGHT HERE. This could very well be the first step towards a new war, and not just any war, potentially World War III. I'm not entirely sure, but I believe the North Koreans are still allied with the Russians and the Chinese, while the US is allied with the South Koreans. If these two go to war, the US gets drawn in because of its commitment to defend South Korea. The Chinese and (maybe) Russians get drawn in because of their commitment to the North Koreans. If the US gets drawn in I assume the British come along as well since we seem to be buddy-buddy with them ever since we saved their toosh in WWII. Anyway, this shit is as real as it gets. Cross your fingers that this isn't the start of something bigger.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Good Ol' Days

I won't say much. Just watch this and laugh. It really brings me back to the good old days of making hilarious videos with some good friends :) I miss those days. Now everyone's gone their separate ways. Oh well. GOOD TIMES though.

Hoagie Quest

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Friday, November 19, 2010

SLAYER!

I feel like watching/listening to angry/aggressive music. Thank God for Slayer huh? ;-)

Enjoy.

Bloodline - Slayer





Disciple - Slayer

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Late Night Video

AC/DC - Back In Black [Live in Madrid]



Yes I know I've been away for 11 days now, but I've been a little busy with some interesting shit going on in my life. But now I'm back... AND black... and I guess also IN black. So anyway, here it is. I should be posting quite a few videos online tonight. I'm in that sorta mood :) Enjoy!



Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Movember!

It's Movember and it's the start of a great month to grow out a mustache for a worthy cause! Go to Movember and donate to the cause and grow a mustache to help raise awareness for Prostate Cancer. I know y'all motherfuckers don't have it, but my grandfather has it and all men over 40 are at risk. This is a very worthy cause to just put away your razor for a month. DO IT! I AM! I'll be posting pictures every few days to show my progress. JOIN ME!

-Cesar

Friday, October 29, 2010

Late Night Video... again.

I stumbled upon this video today. I didn't even know they made a video for this song off their (as far as I know) latest album "Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace". I really liked this song when I listened to the album, and I'm glad they made a video for it. It's pretty cool. Check it out though.









Don't forget to watch The Matrix. I'm working on part 2 of that post so stay tuned and WATCH THE MATRIX!

-Cesar

Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Matrix Part 1

I encourage those of you who have not seen The Matrix to watch it and pay close attention. Even those of you who have seen it before, watch it again and pay closer attention to it. I was listening to SModcast 43: SMorpheus and I got drawn into so much that I felt compelled to discuss the world that is described in The Matrix. So before I post my understanding of the world, I'm going to give everyone a chance to watch it. I'll give it a few days before the scond part of this post. DOWNLOAD IT, RENT IT, BUY IT, BORROW IT, I don't care, just WATCH IT. Part 2 coming in a few days.

-Cesar

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Late Night Video

Not in the mood to really write anything specific to post. Here's I (wish I could) Disappear by Metallica. Solid song they did for Mission Impossible 2 back with Jason Newstead as the bassist. Then he left to form a sissy band and Rob Trujillo came in to replace him. Anyway, here it is.



I Disappear - Metallica

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Fuck the Yankees and Baseball

Baseball sucks. All of it, except the Dodgers. Same with football, but that's for some other time. Baseball is boring, not a total team sport, not very physically demanding, and has too long of a season for the playoff format it employs. Seriously, 164-game regular season and only 8 total teams make the League Division Series, 4 National League and 4 American League. That's not even a grind. Try hockey. 82-game regular season. The most physically demanding sport possible; hitting, slashing, high speeds... It's a great recipe to get some bruises, to say the least. Travel all over the country and get hit every other night by angry 6-foot plus guys who all mostly weigh at least 200 pounds and are chasing you to get that little black, rubber disc to put it past your goalie, who oh by the way has to be flexible as fuck and is quite possibly the most important player in any team sport. After the 82 games of getting mashed into a pulp if you're good enough you make a 16 team playoff. That's the best half of the league and everyone squares off in a best of 7 series for a total of 4 rounds. Now if you make it outta the first round, you're doing alright, but a little banged up. If you make it outta the second round, you're doing really well, but I assure you you're so banged up it hurts to skate. If you make it outta the conference finals and into the Stanley Cup Finals, then you're doing amazing and you're most likely clinging to that last thread of life you have. By the time the SC Finals roll around, the two teams have been through 3 rounds of getting mashed into goop by 3 different teams who are battling just as hard to get to the promised land. If you win the Stanley Cup (the hardest trophy to win in all of sports) then you're on cloud 9 baby. Hoisting that Stanley Cup has got to go up there with the birth of your children, wedding, and the day you met your spouse as one of the greatest moments in anyone's life. Oh and the athletes are humble. All have sacrificed so much to be where they are that they're grateful for everything they have. The top player is paid $9.5M a year, but that's chump change compared to the top basketball players, or even the ridiculously over-paid, lazy, good-for-nothing, top baseball player. What do you see hockey players do with their money? Donate to a charity, or just keep quiet about it and live a humble life. Baseball players? Basketball players? Even some football players? You hear about them on E! News all the time. Spending money on booze, bitches, and drugs. Way to go guys. Y'all are supposed to be good examples for children aspiring to be professional athletes. Instead, you teach them to blow money on unnecessary shit that'll ruin your life or just be a gigantic waste. Either way, hockey players sacrifice much, much, MUCH more than any other athlete to get to where they are, and most don't even earn as much as they should for the risk they put themselves at every other night playing the sport they love. So like I said before, fuck the Yankees (I'm so glad they're eliminated) and FUCK BASEBALL. If you have a problem with what you're reading here, read the headline at the top of the page. If you don't like it here, leave. I couldn't care less if you were offended. I'm not forcing my opinions onto y'all or even forcing you to read this. These are my views, if you want to accept them for the truth that I believe them to be, then go right ahead, I welcome you to do it. But if you don't, that's cool too. Go on with your life as it was and don't mind what I just wrote about. It's ok. The Yankees will be right back next spring with a few more overpaid players they didn't develop or draft to try to buy another championship. It's ok. Fuck baseball. Hockey rules.

-Cesar

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Stay Positive

So last week I was at my weekly team meeting at work and one of the managers, Albert Chow, had a presentation on rejection and positivity. To sum it all up and keep all 3 of you interested, he mentioned that rejection is going to happen and that staying positive is what will keep your spirits up and lead to eventual success. I wholeheartedly agree with that. Positivity is key to everything. Let me make that stand alone for emphasis.



POSITIVITY IS KEY TO EVERYTHING.


In every aspect of your life you're going to face rejection. Whether it be work, school, relationships, rejection will ALWAYS be a part of life. The thing that haunts most people is the fear of rejection. I will admit I am still terrified of rejection. It is because of that fear that I would never have the guts to tell a girl I liked her and thus kept me from dating in general. The only reason I dated the majority of the girls I did (oh ok, all 4 or 5 of them lol) is because they would make a move first and just flat out tell me "I like you" or give really obvious hints. Then after I knew rejection wasn't an option, I'd go for it. But it was only after that fear of rejection was removed from me that I did anything about the situation. The abscence of fear of rejection is called CONFIDENCE. Since I am still afraid of rejection I lack confidence. Confidence is actually something I'll probably get into in another entry. For now let's bring it all back to POSITIVITY.


My mother is a very conservative woman. She was raised that way and has since lived a cautious life. She has a fear of failure and rejection. Because of that fear, she is always worrying about things and being pessimistic. She has asked me before "Why are you always so relaxed and nonchalant about your problems?" My answer is "Everything's going to work out in the end. Just gotta stay positive and think it will all come together for you." A part I should add to that answer is that aside from thinking positively and believing everything will work out you must work to make things come together for you. Positive thoughts ALONE will NOT yield the desired results. It is true with everything in life. You've gotta think positive thoughts, but also work to make things happen.


I know I'm a very angry, hateful person a lot of the time. I understand why I am like that. I have intense feelings and emotions and I'm not afraid to vent if I'm alone or if the people I'm with aren't involved in the situation that's making me angry. I know when and where to vent so as to not get my ass kicked. The thing no one notices about me though is that I am extremely positive despite having anger issues. I've learned that you can't go through life being a sour puss or being worried about every single little thing in life. If you stay positive, you'll be happier and enjoy life more. Like I mentioned, I'm an angry person, but even in my rage-filled moments, I'm happy. I know, that's weird and probably not healthy but fuck you, you're not my doctor or therapist :) That being said, I think more people need to be positive and happy because it something that is really lacking in today's world.


Everywhere you go, everyone you see is always focusing on the negative. "Hey, how was your day?" "Oh it was alright. I got a flat tire though so that sucks." You flip on the news, "A man was shot __________.", "There are reports of a huge accident taking place in _______.", or so and so are getting a divorce or blah blah blah. I guess the deal with the news is that extreme stories get ratings, but there's never extreme positive stories, with the exception of the miners being rescued, so the negative stories have to be reported. If everyone just took the time to look at positive things and just flip the damn news off, they'd enjoy life more.


There's always a silver lining to every situation no matter how terrible it could be. Yes, life is terrible a lot of the times, but if we all focused on it, wouldn't we all be miserable? I guess a lot of people are miserable, but that's their own choice. Don't focus on how terrible life really is. Instead try to focus on the great things that exist and the great things that can exist. Stay positive in all aspects of your life and I guarantee your life will improve dramatically. I credit my negative experiences in life for changing the way I looked at everything. So please, change your attitude in life. Be positive. I don't care if you stay angry (I certainly do), but be positive about everything. Even when you're angry, you're venting. Hey! See that? I found a positive thing in a negative situation. I'm so good at this... Now fuck off and go be positive about your life no matter how shitty it is! Thanks for reading people.

-Cesar

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I swear I'm not lazy...

Here y'all go. This week is starting off not much better than the last(I had to sit in almost 2 1/2 hours of traffic to drive what should've been 25 minutes), but my spirits are certainly better than they were all of last week :) Still lagging on those "positivity" and "failure" pieces I wanna write, but they'll hopefully be up sometime this week. For now I leave you with this. Jay and Silent Bob for the first time :) Kevin Smith is awesome.



Thursday, October 14, 2010

Where'd I Go?

Sorry for the delay. I've been having kind of a rough week. Everything will be fine though :) I'll work on a piece to up for tonight. I'll try to get it up early enough for everyone (again all 3 of you who skim this) to check out before going to bed. For now, I leave you with this.



METALLICA - "THE DAY THAT NEVER COMES"

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Late Night Video

Here you go ladies and gentlemen. Things haven't been the best for my family lately and everyone's depressed over meaningless things, but I learned a long time ago from our favorite comedian/singer Eric Idle to "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life." Thank you for keeping up with this blog (all 3 of you). Now comment to show some support! In this post, comment about some trouble you're having, have had, or maybe just say a few words of encouragment for my family. Have a good one folks, and always look on the bright side of life. I'll have a post on positivity sometime in the very near future, so stay tuned. For now, here you go: The ending scene to Monty Python's Life Of Brian. Heed the words in the chorus people! They'll make life more enjoyable!



Friday, October 8, 2010

IT'S MUUUHFUGGIN' FRIDAY!!!!

So today I get the honor and distinct pleasure to provide dinner for the family :) I haven't really done too much of anything productive around here as of late, so I volunteered to get dinner for tonight since grandma's working 'til 6pm and mom and Anthony surely don't want to be in the kitchen on a Friday evening. Everyone can just relax in the living room or in the backyard with a beer in hand, play some pool, watch tv, hang out, and have some badass dinner courtesy of Big Poppa Cheese Cesar. So I was thinking KFC would do the trick yesterday, but today I realize maybe something a little better and cheaper would do the trick. No way in hell I get McDonalds or Taco Bell for dinner. That just won't cut it. I'm thinking something along the lines of Pizza Hut, Papa John's, or KFC. I've still got about 30-40 minutes to decide for sure, so no worries. I will later reveal what I chose to have to absorb all the alcohol I'm having tonight satisfy my hunger on a wonderful Friday evening.



On a separate note, the San Jose Sharks started their season with a 3-2 win in Stockholm, Sweden today over the Columbus Blue Jackets. Game #2 of the season is tomorrow again in Stockholm against the same Blue Jackets. Niemi surprisingly played pretty well stopping 30 of 32 shots. Go Sharks!

-Cesar

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I'm Lovin' It... The Food, Not the Protesters...


What is in McDonalds Food?!


Preservatives? That experiment gauged what the food would look like in weeks. Your digestive system passes that shit through within hours. So there is absolutely no reason to be afraid of what this video showed. All it did was let me know not to keep McDonalds food in a jar for weeks. It didn't say anything about how unhealthy it is for me or why I shouldn't eat it. That motherfucker Morgan Spurlock needs to go jump off a bridge. This video didn't show why we shouldn't eat McDonalds, only why we shouldn't leave that shit in jars. His documentary "Super Size Me" was a crock of shit too. He ate that shit non-stop for a whole month. If anyone is dumb enough to do that and not exercise the whole time then they deserve to have poor health. I ate McDonalds 3 times a day for a whole week once and nothing happened. I was as healthy as ever and the food was fucking delicious so I wasn't complaining. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna go to McDonalds in a few minutes and get some delicious fries, nuggets, and a big fat burger cuz I'm starving. The only reason people are so against McDonalds is that it's a huge corporation and the ppl who hate it are super liberal commies. McDonalds is a corporation yes, but it helps communities everywhere. The Ronald McDonald House Charity helps. This whole smear campaign against McDonalds isn't about a health issue, it's about a political issue. Commie fucking liberals don't like the idea of a huge corporation being around. Open your eyes people. If you do, you'll see that preservatives are found in mostly all food. Otherwise how the fuck else would we be able to store food at grocery stores or once we bought it? THINK PEOPLE! Alright, I'm off to get me some food at McDonald's. People, if you enjoy what you eat, keep eating it. The trick to staying healthy and in shape is EXERCISING. Look at me. I eat "nasty" shit all the time and I'm in pretty good shape. If it wasn't for this sports hernia I am currently nursing, I'd be out playing soccer this fall. As it stands though, I need to get that taken care of first surgically, then going through a rehab program to strengthen it again and then get back on the field. I assure you I will not change my diet in the slightest and I'll still be in great shape with a little conditioning. So just realize that my obstacle is a physical injury, not a bad diet. So there. Suck on that Morgan Spurlock and all others opposed to McDonalds.

-Cesar

Monday, October 4, 2010

Late Night Video 10-4-10

Coheed and Cambria have put out some great albums. Their best album, in my not so humble and almighty opinion, is "Good Apollo I'm Burning Star IV Vol.1: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness". Their album names are a little strange (In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth:3, Good Apollo I'm Burning Star IV Vol.2: No World For Tomorrow, The Second Stage Turbine Blade) but they're all concept albums with an interconnected story called The Amory Wars. To read more on the band go to Coheed and Cambria's Wikipedia Page. This video is from their latest effort, The Year of the Black Rainbow. I think it's a very good album. It's definitely worth a listen, so check it out.



Friday, October 1, 2010

The Piece of Shit at the Center of the Universe

So as many of you know, Greg Giraldo passed away earlier this week of an accidental prescription drug-overdose. He seemed like a really cool guy all the time and he was hilarious. Now, I went onto Riley Breckenridge's blog Trawling the Grey Matter and found an interesting article he posted about an interview some guy did with Greg Giraldo before he passed. It's very interesting to see how much Giraldo struggled with life. He was a standup guy everywhere you saw him on tv and you'd never assume a guy like him would be down in the dumps so much. Take a look at the interview and get a good insight into what he had to deal with on a daily basis. It's really eye-opening. Oh yeah, the thing he says about feeling like he's The Piece of Shit at the Center of the Universe and how he feels responsible for everything that goes wrong? I feel like that when something goes wrong. If I get into an argument with like my girlfriend, or my dad, or my mom? I honestly always feel it's my fault and I'm the biggest piece of shit so I'm always apologizing and feeling like crap. Anyway, check out the interview with Greg Giraldo. Rest In Peace man.

Interview w/Greg Giraldo

Late Night Video

Tonight I'm posting Rammstein's video for the song "Moskau" off their album "Reise, Reise". I've been in a Rammstein mood today, so I thought this would be a good song to post. The accordion-type solo is kickass. I learned to play it on guitar at one point before, but I forgot it. I'll remember it and play it for your mothers. On a side note, Till Lindemann (vocalist) can kick me in the nuts anyday and I'd gladly shake his hand and thank him.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Flo Is A Total Hoe...

Who in their right mind names their kid "Flo"? Seriously? Was the mother going to name her Flower, but just croaked in the middle of writing the name?

Mother - "I want to name her Flo-" **Dies**
Doctor - "Umm... she wrote Flo... so that's her name."
Father - "Ok. Cool."

In all seriousness though, what does Flo mean? If anyone can answer that for me, please do. I am very curious as to what it means. I don't know, maybe the meaning is everything for this particular name.

In other news...

I attended my first Team Meeting at work last night from 8:30pm - 10:00pm and it was a bit long to be honest. I got a lot of information from some of the other more experienced sales reps and the managers. To be perfectly honest, it was too long and a tad boring. If anyone from work ever reads this they'll probably kick me in the shin for saying this about the meetings. I was pleasantly surprised to know that of all the new recruits hired last week, I had the highest sales over the first weekend on the job. I got a nice certificate and recognition in front of the Division Manager and all the other managers and experienced Sales Reps. It was very cool. The partial downside to that is that I now have to go into the office today and perform a practice demo in front of this week's new recruits. It's cool that they want to show me off as an impressive new sales rep, but I haven't really done anything too amazing. I just made 3 sales and I managed to make as much as I did. It's all good though.

BY THE WAY....

Half of my co-workers are Asians. What the fuck is with Asians doing sales? I didn't know they were good at that. Actually, the manager that asked me to come in today is Asian and he's the one who interviewed me. I'm not too excited, but I have to do it so I will. I'm gonna get some awesome lunch first though. I'm off to make some more observations in my day. Be sure to keep your eyes peeled for some fucked up shit. If you have any interesting observations you wanna discuss or have analyzed post it in the comments. I'll be sure to get to it as soon as I can.

-Cesar

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Grandpa Joe Can Suck It... Not Really

I was driving to CVS a few hours ago and as I turned into the parking lot, I was behind an old man driving a pretty nice Honda. So check it. He flicks a cigarette out his window and hits a car passing him by in the store parking lot. I was like "Wow that was a super dick move!", but I laughed anyway because I like laughing at really mean things like that. Like when a little kid's riding a bike and eats a whole curb full of shit? That's enough to drop me in a laughing fit. Though in that instance I have to contain myself or else the parents or whatever other adult is watching will try to kick my ass and let's face it, I'm a major pussy who avoids confrontations at all cost. But I digress. After this awesomely rude cigarette act, he then proceeds to drive like he's taking a driving test and he's already been docked a few points for excessive speed. That or his oxygen tank got a kink in it and his brain wasn't getting enough oxygen. I got so pissed after like 2 rows of cars so I turned into another row and I just passed that bitch up. What the fuck was with that guy? I hate driving behind slow, older people. Sometimes you feel like shit when you curse a slow driver out as you pass him/her up and it turns out they're an old-ass person. That always happens to me on freeways and such, but today I didn't feel bad. Grandpa Joe was a dick deserving of every obscene word I threw his way. He flicked the cigarette and then had the audacity to drive slowly in front of me. In front of ME?!?! Fuck that. Who does he think he is?! He had it coming. I'm gonna be the slowest old motherfucker for everything I'm saying right now... Just you wait and see. In 40 years when I'm shitting myself regularly, I'm gonna be driving and some young bitch is gonna curse me out the way I cursed Grandpa Joe and all other old fucks. That's cool  with me though. By then I won't care at all. I'm gonna be shitting my pants regularly. I'll have bigger and better things to worry about than some young bitch insulting me. Like dying, the previously mentioned shit in my pants, and trying to get the goddamn kink outta my oxygen tank so I can breathe.

-Cesar

Cleverdicking For The First Time

You remember the first time you masturbated?

I do.

Anyway, welcome to my new incredibly unpopular blog where I will attempt to make racy and controversial observations that all humans make, but are afraid to make public. Please understand however that if you are offended by anything said here, then you're a sensitive pussy and should seriously get yourself checked out by a shrink because you're way too self-involved. Seriously though, if you're the type of person that gets offended easily, then please take everything I say here with a grain of salt. I'm only half serious when I insult specific people and fully serious when I insult a general group of humans. I'm a misanthrope believe it or not. Yes, you will get plenty of proof of that on this blog, so again don't take it personally. Most of my comments on here can or will be of a racist or stereotypically offensive nature, so again I urge you all to chill out and be cool about it. So without further ado, LET'S LET THE FUN BEGIN!

I'm off to bed now people. It's 2:02am and I need to get up at a decent hour tomorrow so I don't further fuel the lazy-ass reputation I'm sure I've earned with my girlfriend's family since she left to college. In all seriousness though, I'm tired as shit. I'll most likely post about some gross shit I had to do today. Goodnight everyone.

-Cesar