Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Grandpa Joe Can Suck It... Not Really
I was driving to CVS a few hours ago and as I turned into the parking lot, I was behind an old man driving a pretty nice Honda. So check it. He flicks a cigarette out his window and hits a car passing him by in the store parking lot. I was like "Wow that was a super dick move!", but I laughed anyway because I like laughing at really mean things like that. Like when a little kid's riding a bike and eats a whole curb full of shit? That's enough to drop me in a laughing fit. Though in that instance I have to contain myself or else the parents or whatever other adult is watching will try to kick my ass and let's face it, I'm a major pussy who avoids confrontations at all cost. But I digress. After this awesomely rude cigarette act, he then proceeds to drive like he's taking a driving test and he's already been docked a few points for excessive speed. That or his oxygen tank got a kink in it and his brain wasn't getting enough oxygen. I got so pissed after like 2 rows of cars so I turned into another row and I just passed that bitch up. What the fuck was with that guy? I hate driving behind slow, older people. Sometimes you feel like shit when you curse a slow driver out as you pass him/her up and it turns out they're an old-ass person. That always happens to me on freeways and such, but today I didn't feel bad. Grandpa Joe was a dick deserving of every obscene word I threw his way. He flicked the cigarette and then had the audacity to drive slowly in front of me. In front of ME?!?! Fuck that. Who does he think he is?! He had it coming. I'm gonna be the slowest old motherfucker for everything I'm saying right now... Just you wait and see. In 40 years when I'm shitting myself regularly, I'm gonna be driving and some young bitch is gonna curse me out the way I cursed Grandpa Joe and all other old fucks. That's cool with me though. By then I won't care at all. I'm gonna be shitting my pants regularly. I'll have bigger and better things to worry about than some young bitch insulting me. Like dying, the previously mentioned shit in my pants, and trying to get the goddamn kink outta my oxygen tank so I can breathe.